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Writing by invader-zim42

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Submitted on
September 17, 2013
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127 (who?)
“No.” It was all I could say, taking in the carnage of what had just last night been my pristine kitchen. I wanted to collapse onto a chair, but they – and our spacious table – were covered in miscellany. Cleaning supplies, random knick-knacks from the living room, a thermometer, a scale. It was all there, strewn about.

My legs were shaking, and I fought the urge to cry. So messy. So dirty. No, no, no. I collapsed onto the shoe bench in between the Franco Sarto and the Gucci. I don't know where Giesswein had gone. I wished I could blame it on burglars, but no.

“She's doing it again!” I called, and my husband came running into the kitchen. We watched his mother rearrange my cabinets, turning tea-cup handles to the left instead of the right. My hands twitched.

“Ma, stop it!” he said, exasperation coloring his voice. “Put these things back, they were fine where they were!”

"No," she said, her voice heavily-accented. "I will take care of my boys. I can make you curtains for the living room, too. I think blue would be better than your green."

"Ma!" He strode past the bedroom after her, then froze and backtracked. "You moved our bed?!"

"It is better there. Now you can see if someone does come in the door and can defend yourselves."

"The only one coming in unannounced is you! I love you, I do - but this is our house! Our life! You should move on, Ma." I just stared at them helplessly. I didn't want to suggest it...but it needed to be done.

"I know." Paula looked at him with sad eyes. "But it is tough to do things alone. You need your mother."

That was a trap and he knew it. Changing tactics, he asked; "Did you try to rest?”

She sniffed dismissively. That was a no. "Did I show you the pictures I did bring? Also, I want to make you boys some soups. You can always put it in the cool box."

"Ma...we haven't been married long, we really just want some time alone. You know, for privacy?" She was past listening to him. Again. “Mom, really... Pete and I would really appreciate it if you could stop rearranging and redecorating... you should really move on.”

She kept going, moving the photos on the wall around to suit her own taste; I squeaked in dismay. I had spent a week arranging those to tell the story of how we met. Throwing his hands up, Aaron returned to the disaster zone that had been our tidy kitchen.

"I love your mother, I do," I said cautiously. "But I think she's over-stayed her welcome."

Aaron sighed. "I know... I was glad she stayed for the wedding, though...”

“Me, too.”  We gave each other a look of pained agreement.

"Alright. I'll call a medium tomorrow. That, at least, will be gentler on her than an exorcist."
Written for a flash fiction class. :)
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-01-09
Moving On by ~katherineluttmer ( Featured by neurotype )
Vagabond24-7 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
That was a very good twist at the end!
lilylaughs Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014
Good one!!! Really, really good jump at the end!
Nocturn0wl Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well done! I love how much imagery and characterization you were able to put into such a short piece, and also the twist at the end. :) Congrats on the well-deserved DD!
Lytrigian Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I knew what the twist would be at "You should move on, Ma," but that didn't spoil this cute and well-written piece. Well done!
USCGCitasca Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
took me like 5 minutes to understand the ending, very well written.
teddybearcholla Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:clap::clap: Very good!! Congrats on the DD!! :D
Jaylee1999 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
LOVE!!!!Love Heart 
LittleFireDragon Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

*reads the ending several times*

Well played, author. Well played.

Betnii Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Student Writer
Brilliant ending!
Lyricana Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
Oh wow- I didn't expect an ending like that at all!  Thanks to your diction and smart phrasing, you were able to disguise what was really going on until the last few lines, and I find that very impressive.
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